Star Trek: Bloodthirst (1987)

Captain's Log, supplemental. A distress call from the outpost Tanis has put on hold any chance of me bedding down another alien babe. Now, the only survivor of a hot lab catastrophe is loose aboard the Enterprise, and some of the crew think the man is a... blood sucking vampire of old Earth mythology. Naturally, Mr. Spock believes this theory to be most illogical. But some of our crew are now displaying signs of... vampirism. The only cure may be to record another half dozen Priceline commercials and hope for the best. Kirk out.

I usually have mixed feelings about Star Trek trying its hand at the horror genre. None of the horror-themed episodes from the original series right up until the Star Trek series concluded with Enterprise would make a 'best-of' list for me. I concede there's more than enough room for a horror element to be explored in the Trek universe, but the way the series would usually approach it always came across as a television show trying too hard to do something it's not normally equipped for. That, and the horror episodes usually became fairly one-note in a hurry. How many dreary 'nightmare' episodes of The Next Generation did we endure through anyway? The few times horror did work in Star Trek was usually more of the psychological variety and it very often involved Chief O'Brien being made to suffer in various sadistic ways in the dreaming world to further amplify the true horror of being married to series villain Keiko O'Brien in the real world. But I digress...

Bloodthirst is a Star Trek novel set in the original series timeline that takes that spooky Spirit of Halloween set from the episode "Catspaw" and turns it up a notch. It is, more or less, a version of Dracula in space. And the entire novel builds itself up to one shining moment when our erstwhile Russian navigator Pavel Chekov gets to say the word... "wampires". No, I'm not kidding. Yes, it's as awesome as you think it is.

The author of Bloodthirst wrote a number of Trek novels between the mid 80's into the early 2000's, including several of the film novelizations. J.M. Dillard is the Star Trek pen name of one Jeanne Kalogridis, who unsurprisingly went on to write a series of vampire novels in the 90's. Bloodthirst is clearly something of a love letter to Dracula and a plethora of other vampire related fiction, although the main antagonist is not a traditional vampire. Dillard cleverly spruces the story up with a sci-fi aspect, fashioning the villain's bloodthirsty state as the result of an illegally developed bioweapon from a backwater Federation outpost. There are other villains for Kirk and the crew to contend with besides the would-be Nosferatu, including a rogue admiral and an eleventh hour visit from the Romulans.

Because there's only so much that can be done with the series regulars, Dillard introduces several of her own original characters to the crew of the Enterprise. The original characters are mostly red shirts in the security team, but surprisingly none of them feel like throwaway characters. We have Stanger, a former lieutenant demoted down to the lowest ranks because of a rather foolish decision to take the blame for a crime he didn't commit. Tomson, the stern-faced viking woman who has become the ship's chief of security. Lamia, an Andorian ensign who is one of the few blue-skinned women in proximity to Kirk that hasn't boned with him yet. And Lisa Nguyen, the sensitive one who is wrestling with the idea of leaving the Federation for life on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. There's also a kooky admiral named Waverleigh who is apparently old friends with Kirk, drinks heavily, and talks to taxidermic animals. There's one exchange this character has with Kirk where the captain concludes the conversation by saying: "Admiral, you are weird." which had me rolling because it's such a bizarre line but I can also hear Shatner delivering that line with the usual ham.

Of the regulars, while Kirk and Spock have some moments, because the story doubles as a medical mystery, Bloodthirst is undoubtedly a McCoy episode. Good ol' Bones gets plenty of screen time in this novel while he struggles to understand the bio-engineered virus and plays human chess with the vampiric virus creator Dr. Fauci Adams. Nurse Chapel is also featured prominently in the story, but I won't spoil her role for anyone interested in tracking this novel down in the future.

I had some fun with this one. The writing keeps a fairly brisk pace and there were a few genuinely squeamish moments if you're really into the horror aspects, but the novel manages to course-correct back to traditional sci-fi as the climax draws closer. Recommended.

Aegeon: Science-Fiction Illustrated #9 (2024)

Brace your sphincters for a bevy of bodacious science-fiction, it's time for this crummy review blog that no one reads to venture forth into the world of weird fiction magazines!

I admit, I'm not the best at keeping up with genre fiction periodicals. Even the classic stuff that a fan of adventure, fantasy, horror, or sci-fi should indulge in, whether it's Amazing Stories or Weird Tales, always seemed to slip past my radar in favor of larger anthologies or compilations. However, in recent years we've had an uptick in independently published short fiction magazines celebrating various facets of pulp and genre fiction and I decided it was well past time for me to check some of them out considering the absolute state of mainstream publishing at the present. The first one I gravitated to was the science-fiction magazine Aegeon, mainly because I discovered the editor on X and found his observations on the hell of modern Western civilization to be right up my alley.

So Aegeon #9 is the most recent issue of the magazine as I write this review, and it's quite a breath of fresh air and a welcome respite from mainstream sci-fi. I think the badass 'synthwave Whitesnake music video' front cover probably grabbed my attention first, but the back cover blurb imploring the reader to "put down your soy fiction and your Harry Potterized time-travel stories" was probably what made the sale for me. But does this tome back up all the shit-talking?

Well, they're not all winners. There's a couple of pieces here that are part of ongoing serials, so if you're a dork like me jumping in at issue nine and trying to read them in medias res then you might struggle to understand everything that's going on. (But that's the fault of yours truly, not those stories.) There are one or two pieces that didn't quite grab me all the way - "Fernworld" by Bruce Pendragon for instance - has a plot involving a planet full of... well... ferns and a stranded space traveler. The main character's plight is identifiable by the reader from extremely early on in the story, so much so that I was waiting for an even bigger twist or something wildly unexpected to go down on this weird plant planet... but the twist never came, resulting in what I felt was a muted and flat ending.

However, I ended up enjoying the majority of the short stories featured in this issue of Aegeon. Some of my favorites include the trippy "Mara and Dizzy" by A.J. Bell, which... I'm not sure if it was intended as an anti-drug PSA, but the characters experiencing swift consequences of taking unknown street drugs and then suffering through wild hallucinations that involve living chess pieces in the aftermath sure could pass for an anti-drug PSA. Also, there's a cat in it. Cats are cool.

I also had a lot of fun with "Polybius" by Michael Gallo (who is also credited for a chunk of the interior artwork in this issue too - more on that in a moment). The story focuses on the rather creepy urban legend of the Polybius arcade machine and features an aging Italian pinball wizard and what may or may not be a former member of the 'men in black'. The author is clearly well-versed in arcade machine lore and also has some insight into the myths surrounding Polybius, which adds a nice air of authenticity to the piece. He also manages to convincingly work a Motörhead reference into the narrative, so how could I not give the author his laurels here?

For me, the star of the show is "The Duelists" by C.P. Webster. What starts out as something of a military adventure tale with a German pilot and an American pilot vying for domination of the skies quickly turns into something otherworldly and mysterious as the two pilots whose countries are at war with one another become makeshift allies after crash landing into what appears to be an alien world. It would be a crime to reveal the lovely twist of this story here, so I can go no further with any plot synopsis. But I also liked this story for its brief character studies. One of the characters is clearly more educated than the other and the reader is left wondering if this will pay dividends for him or be his undoing as the story progresses. C.P. Webster's fiction has also been featured in the likes of The Bizarchives and Lovecraftiana, and based on the strength of "The Duelists", I'm definitely going to be seeking out more of this author's works in the future.

Beyond all of the short fiction crammed into this bad boy, there's also a whole lot of black and white artwork to pore over, some non-fiction editorials about the way of the world right now, and a hilarious 'mail bag' section at the end. There's a couple of comics and even a pair of old-school mazes to solve if that's your thing, but neither of these things were really up my alley. Still, there's something for everyone in Aegeon if you're a sci-fi fan - made even sweeter by the fact that it's free of the taint of contemporary social politics. I will very likely be perusing for back issues of this magazine in the near future. Recommended.

Cover (1987)

A hotshot novelist, his wife, his supermodel girlfriend (you read that right), and a few of his unbearable asshole friends head to the woods for a relaxing weekend getaway and stumble upon a crop of weed tended by a mentally shattered Vietnam vet who is totally Not-Rambo. Thinking this group of jerks is actually Charlie coming to get him, Not-Rambo begins a vicious campaign of snare-setting and murder. A three hour tour this is not...

My first foray into the work of Jack Ketchum was the novel Cover. In retrospect, it's probably not the ideal place to start if you're interested in exploring the late author's works, because it's less the typical horror novel that Ketchum is most known for and more of a First Blood styled thriller with a nihilistic undercurrent. Not necessarily a complaint, just an observation.

I think the main issue I have with Cover is I can't exactly figure out where the author's position is on anything. It's kind of an anti-war novel, but it doesn't quite go all-in on that. It's kind of a statement against how soft modern conveniences make us, but it doesn't fully embrace that take either. I could almost see the piece being an anti-drug story considering all the trouble a crop of reefer seems to cause all parties involved, but again, we never cross that threshold either.

About the only thing Cover actually is in favor of is polyamory, which is slightly amusing because it's possibly the most unrealistic depiction of a threesome relationship outside of a Brazzers movie. The character of Kelsey simply has to be a self-insert for Ketchum himself. He was clearly living out some kind of repressed fantasy with this novel, right? Because in what reality does a freaking novelist of all trades land a sexy wife and a supermodel side chick who live in harmony with one another?

Regardless, if you're a weirdo like me, you're really reading Cover for the murder and mayhem, and once it gets going, it's an enjoyable - if not overly grisly - escapade. Like many a classic slasher movie, you end up rooting for the killer and not the hapless fools lost in the woods. I still can't tell if it was intentional or not, but Kelsey's group of friends are not the most likeable bunch you'll come across, so seeing the embittered Vietnam veteran character go all John Wick on these fools can be fairly satisfying.

Mildly recommended.